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Cellular damage

Cellphones alter brain activity

You don’t need to see research to know that cellphones alter the brain.

You just need to see someone using one of these things. You know what to look for: blank stare, aimless shuffle, and a little bit of spittle around the mouth from all that yakkin’.

It’s the closest thing we have to a zombie.

But just in case that’s not enough, researchers have found that cellphone radiation alters the chemistry of the brain, specifically in the regions closest to the phone’s antenna.

PET scans on volunteers with phones on each ear — sometimes on, sometimes off — revealed that 50 minutes of “on” time caused measurable changes in how the brain metabolizes glucose.

Now, let’s be clear for a minute: A few minutes of extra glucose activity in the brain isn’t going to kill anyone.

But using these things for hours a day, every day, year after year?

There’s no telling what it could mean — but it could send inflammation levels so high they’re practically shooting out your ears, and even set damaging free radicals loose in your brain.

And those guys party like 1970s rock stars, trashing every joint they stay in.

Bottom line here is that even if the new study turns out to be a lot of noise over nothing, I’ve already seen enough to convince me that these things carry more risk than they’re worth.

In addition to a possible rise in the risk of brain cancer, cellphones have been linked to insomnia, headaches, fertility issues, and problems with focus and concentration (that last one sure explains a lot).

I know some of you will use your cell no matter what I say — and if that’s you, at least protect yourself as best you can: Keep ’em away from your head and even further from your manhood.

And definitely don’t let your kids near them.

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