And if you have a boy but wish “he” was a “she,” just light the candles and let him inhale — because phthalates mimic estrogen in the body. It’s one of the main reasons boys are growing up to be sissies, complete with their own set of breasts.

But forget the kids, because today I want to talk about how these chemicals can ruin YOU, starting with a dramatic boost in your risk of diabetes.

I’m sure most people don’t need much help in that department, thanks to the one-two punch of the modern diet and sedentary lifestyle.

But if you’re teetering on the brink of disease, phthalates can push you right over the edge — because a new study on 1,000 senior Swedish women finds that high blood levels of these chemicals will DOUBLE your risk.

This isn’t exactly a stunner since phthalates have been linked in studies to insulin resistance, high blood glucose, weight gain, increased abdominal fat, and all the other usual suspects that work in cahoots with diabetes.

But it’s one thing to know all that. It’s quite another to actually do something about it, because avoiding phthalates is practically a full-time job.

Most personal items with fragrance of any kind contain them, including candles and air fresheners. They’re also in shower curtains, vinyl flooring, upholstery, sealants, inks, and more.

Phthalate fumes are even responsible for the so-called “new car smell.”

Like I said, it’s not easy — but do the best you can here for yourself and the rest of your family. Everyone’s health is on the line.

The feds want you to believe the dramatic 78 percent rise in autism cases over the past decade is nothing more than a bookkeeping trick. There aren’t more autistic kids — just more docs who’ve learned to recognize the condition.

Baloney!

I’m sure more diagnoses — and even OVER-diagnoses — is part of that increase, but I’m just as sure that more kids are autistic than ever before. And a big part of the reason is the dramatic rise in exposure to toxic heavy metals.

Now, one new study shows how the junkiest of all junk ingredients — the high-fructose corn syrup used in… well… just about everything these days — can cause your mercury levels to shoot so high you might reach the planet that shares its name.

Former FDA toxicologist — and noted agency whistleblower — Renee Dufault says HFCS depletes the body of zinc… and zinc is needed to chase out mercury.

Ms. Dufault is the same researcher who found low levels of mercury in HFCS several years ago — so if you put two and two together here, you get more toxic heavy metals and less ability to rid the body of them, all in one convenient package.

On paper anyway, it sounds like a recipe for autism. Out in the real world, it’s just a small piece of the puzzle — because HFCS is hardly the biggest source of mercury.

This dangerous metal is in dental fillings, vaccines (especially flu shots), seafood, CFL light bulbs, and more. It’s even turning up in the water supply, so you could be poisoning your family every time you open the tap (one more reason to make sure you have a reverse osmosis water filter protecting your home).

And mercury itself is only a piece of the autism puzzle — because other toxins, lousy eating habits, and hormonal problems can all play a role.

I can’t give you a one-size-fits-all answer on this. But if you suspect a little one in the family might be the next autism statistic, get the kid to a naturopathic physician ASAP.

Early diagnosis and proper drug-free treatment can make all the difference in the world.

No kidding.

People who go overboard with body modification are pretty much announcing to the world that they have a wild streak. Why anyone would waste time and hard-to-get research dollars confirming this is beyond me.

Maybe it was an excuse to hang around in bars on someone else’s dime, because that’s where this study was conducted. And as people left, the researchers gave them breathalyzer tests to see how drunk they were.

Those with tattoos along with pierced nostrils, lips, and God-only-knows-what-elses had higher booze levels than those without.

Again, no surprise — especially since other studies have found that people with heaps of “body art” (as they like to call it) are more likely to have risky sex, beat each other up, and steal things.

Obviously, the tattoos and lip-rings aren’t causing any of this behavior. People who engage in this behavior simply have a dress code.

I wouldn’t worry about someone who gets a tattoo of an anchor, Marine Corps logo, or “ELSIE FORVER” inside a heart — but clearly, if there’s a youth in your family collecting ink and punching holes in his (or her) skin, don’t just ignore it.

Clearly, something’s going on.

And whether or not they’re engaging in risky behavior now, they’re bound to experience something else later on: Regret.

Up to half of all people who get tattoos later wish they didn’t.

Big Pharma has pumped billions into the hunt for a brain-boosting drug, and all they have to show for it so far is a bunch of tax write-offs.

But there is something you can pop right now to get your brain juices flowing, and it’s the cheap little pills you should be taking anyway — your daily vitamins.

A series of new studies in the British Journal of Nutrition, Psychopharmacology, and Human Psychopharmacology finds that ordinary vitamins — like the kind I hope you’re already taking — can increase your mental powers.

And if you’re not taking one now, it’s not too late to start — because the benefits kick in after just a few weeks.

In one of the studies, researchers found that women given multivitamin and mineral supplements improved in both accuracy and speed on multitasking tests. Children between the ages of 8 and 14 showed better accuracy in tests that require attention.

And for men, a B complex was enough to boost their scores on cognitive tests and improve their mental vigor so they weren’t “worn out” at the end of those tests.

This is nothing new, of course, especially the part about the B vitamins. I’ve recommended B6, B12, and folate for brainpower and dementia protection in men and women alike for years now — and if you’re not taking a quality B complex yet, add one today.

But don’t stop there.

Be sure to add some of my other favorites, like the omega-3 fatty acids. In another of the new studies, brain scans revealed that people who took between 1 and 2 grams daily of the omega-3 fatty acid DHA had increased blood flow to the brain.

That’s a sure sign of big-time long-haul benefits — and a reason why studies have shown that lifelong fish eaters have healthier brains and a lower risk of dementia than people who don’t eat fish.

So whether you’re interested in long-term brain protection or just want a boost for next month’s Scrabble rematch, follow mom’s advice — and don’t forget to take your vitamins.

By the way, there’s one other nutrient you need for brain protection, and you’re almost certainly not getting enough. I’ll have all the details this summer in my Douglass Report newsletter.

Don’t miss out — subscribe now.

Which is it?

These days, docs are turning up their noses at an analysis of 29 studies that found 500 mg of vitamin C a day can trim 5 points off the systolic blood pressure (the top number) in patients with “high” blood pressure.

I’m not one to get excited over 5 points myself, but those same docs will tell anyone 5 points over the threshold — a threshold that seems to get lower every year — that they need medication.

So this should be good news to them, right?

Wrong!

“(B)efore we can recommend supplements as a treatment for high blood pressure, we really need more research to understand the implications of taking them,” study author Edgar “Pete” R. Miller III, MD, PhD, wrote in a news release.

Really, Pete?

If there’s any vitamin as well understood as vitamin C, I can’t name it. You need this stuff, and plenty of it — and while I’ve seen analysts claim the 500 mg a day in the study is a high dose, it’s nothing of the sort.

It’s what I call a “good start,” because most people need about 1,200 mg a day — and if you get that much, you might even shave a few more points off those BP levels.

But take it because you need more C — not because you’re worried about BP. In fact, if you’re just 5 or so points off the target, you’ve got nothing to worry about.

If your levels suddenly shoot up for a reason that’s not immediately obvious and then remain high, you might need a little more help — and I don’t mean a vitamin OR a med.

You need a doctor who can figure out why it happened. I suggest using a naturopathic doctor. You can find one in the directory on the Web site of the American College for Advancement in Medicine.

You have cancer!

Well, Google thinks you do anyway — because no matter what symptoms you type into the search engine, the results will connect it to cancer.

Headaches? Cancer!

Blurry vision? Cancer!

Pain? Cancer!

Got an itch? Cancer!

Tired all the time? Do you even have to ask?

If you’ve ever used Google yourself to track down medical information (and who hasn’t?) you’ve probably had your own search engine-induced cancer scare at some point.

Obviously, you’re not alone. In fact, a new survey out of the UK finds that a quarter of all women have thought they had a disease they didn’t really have thanks to “Dr. Google” — and number one on the list was breast cancer.

Number two? All other cancers.

I’m surprised the number was so low — because it seems like 100 percent of men and women alike end up convinced they have cancer and any number of other diseases (often rare and deadly ones) after a Google search.

What makes this self-diagnosis so much worse than just a false disease scare is that many people take the next step and medicate themselves based on what Dr. Google says — and at least 10 percent of women in the survey experienced side effects because of the drugs they took for a condition they didn’t even have.

(Again, that number sounds low to me.)

The survey was funded by the maker of a drug for bacterial vaginosis, a condition women often mistakenly believe is thrush based on search engine results. And indeed, thrush was the number three condition on the list.

But really, you shouldn’t be self-diagnosing — and certainly not self-medicating — for thrush, vaginosis, cancer, or anything else Dr. Google thinks you have.

The Internet is a tool to inform and empower patients. You can use the information you find online to question your doctor’s diagnoses and treatments — but you can’t question him if you don’t see him in the first place.

For a good example of something to question your own doctor about, keep reading.

Right now, you’re playing guinea pig in the world’s biggest biotech experiment as tiny untested particles are quietly dumped into your food, drink, cosmetics, and more — and no one has any idea what they’ll do to you in the long run.

Conspiracy theory? No way.

Microscopic nanoparticles have been added to virtually everything over the past few years, and the FDA has sat back and done nothing to ensure their safety. And only now, when you can’t avoid them even if you try, are they finally getting around to MAYBE proposing POSSIBLE rules that COULD take effect… SOMEDAY.

That’s the FDA for you.

I’m surprised they’ve taken even this tiny step — makes me wonder what made them wake up and smell the micronized particles (and yes, they’re in your colognes and perfumes too).

Maybe it was the fact that we know these particles can be ingested, absorbed through the skin, and even inhaled from the air — and once inside the body, they can cross the blood-brain barrier.

Or maybe it was the UCLA study that found nanoparticles can cause DNA and chromosome damage. Or the study that found commonly used particles kill human gut cells.

Or maybe it was the research that found these particles can kill nerve cells and POKE HOLES in the brain.

On the other hand, that last one could explain the FDA’s complete inaction on this — because you’d have to have a pretty big hole in your head to allow the widespread use of these micronized particles without any real testing.

Don’t expect that to change anytime soon, despite the latest proposal. For an up-close look at how slowly the FDA normally operates, just take a look at the agency’s “urgent” action to regulate antibiotics in livestock, first proposed in 1977.

Only now — 35 years later — are they turning that proposal into reality, and only because a court ordered them to.

In other words, don’t hold your breath waiting for the newest proposal to lead to actual action… but you might want to hold your breath anyway so you don’t inhale any of those particles.

As a result, you’re bound to get bitten this summer — and each time a mosquito dines on your blood, you face the risk of everything from infection to death itself… not to mention days of relentless itching.

If you’ve ever wasted your cash on a medicated bite cream, you know how much itch relief they bring: None at all.

Now, a study in BMJ confirms it’s not just you. There’s little to no evidence that many of them work, they come with plenty of risks, and most aren’t supposed to be used on broken skin anyway (and yes, if you scratched that itch — try not to! — odds are your skin is broken).

Instead, the researchers say use plain old ice.

Does it work? Ice will numb you a little… so, yeah, if you can stand the ice against your skin, you might get a little relief. But the best way to avoid the itching and irritation is to not get bit in the first place.

Since DDT is out of the picture (wrongly, because it’s actually perfectly safe for man, animals and the environment) your next-best options include a liberal dose of DEET — 100 percent if you can take it — and enough citronella to start a bonfire.

If you’re really determined, turn yourself into a mosquito homewrecker and get rid of every possible breeding spot — and that means all sources of standing water.

But since mosquitos can fly up to 10 miles, it’s not enough to take care of business around your own home. You’ll need the cooperation of your neighbors as well as local officials.

Better stock up on ice.

If you want to save your prostate and spare yourself a cancer death, forget all about PSA tests, drugs, surgeries, and everything else the mainstream has been throwing at this disease.

Head to the beach instead.

That’s because the very sunlight you’ve been told to avoid can actually save you from any number of cancers, and the latest research puts prostate cancer high on that list.

Harvard researchers tracked more than 2,500 men for nearly two decades and found that high D levels slashed the risk of dying of prostate cancer by more than half.

In fact, nearly a third of the men who died of prostate cancer were among those with the lowest D levels of anyone in the study, while only 16 percent of the deaths were among men with high levels.

Once you crunch the numbers that adds up to a 57 percent overall reduction in the risk of death — and that’s not the only big news out of the study.

It turns out D didn’t lower the overall risk of a tumor — just the risk of dying from one. This means the sunshine vitamin ignores the harmless tumors you don’t need to worry about, while stopping the deadly ones that could kill you.

There’s not an oncologist on the planet that’s figured out how to do that!

Vitamin D’s no one-trick pony when it comes to cancer, either. It can also help fight or prevent lung, colon, breast, and endometrial cancer. And despite what you’ve heard, vitamin D can prevent the deadliest forms of skin cancer.

That’s one of the reasons the skin cancer rate has actually shot up since D-blocking sunscreens came on the market — but only one. The other reason is that those icky gooey creams and lotions themselves actually contain dangerous cancer-causing chemicals.

The synthetic form of vitamin A used in many until just recently was even found to SPEED the growth of tumors when exposed to sunlight.

But whether they contain that A or not, skip ‘em all. The only protection you really need from the sun is a shady tree or a beach umbrella — and the sense to get under it before you get burned.

I’ve got more on cancer up next. Keep reading!

But I do make exceptions — and cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli, Brussels sprouts, kale, and cauliflower are more than just a garnish for my steak. They taste great, and they’ve proven time and again they can help beat cancer.

And if you’re a lady listen up — because women who eat the most of these veggies are 62 percent less likely to die of breast cancer and 35 percent less likely to have a recurrence of the disease than women who eat the least, according to a new study out of China.

Those veggies even helped slash the risk of death from “all” causes, but I’m always a little suspicious of numbers like that. I don’t think there’s a vegetable on the planet that can prevent deaths from car accidents, injuries, or crime.

But for my money, fighting cancer is a good enough trick on its own — and there’s a reason cruciferous vegetables have shown they can stop the disease in its tracks (and not just breast cancer).

They contain a substance called sulforaphane, which stimulates certain phase II enzymes that in turn can stop tumors from growing.

The only downside here is that many people can’t stand broccoli. Years of being forced to eat it as a child will do that to you — and if the very idea of Brussels sprouts makes you gag, feel free to dunk them in some farm-fresh butter.

Extra butter — real, fresh butter — makes everything taste better… and despite what you’ve heard it’s good for you, too. In fact, the CHOLESTEROL in butter is a powerful cancer-fighter of its own.

Stay tuned later this week for more on that.